Are you in a difficult situation that feels like its on “repeat”? Every time you turn around it’s the same struggle but perhaps in a new outfit, pulling the rug out from under you, punching you in the gut, and turning things sour?
I am currently in just such a season and this time I am getting curious (because let’s face it, I’ve spent a good portion already being, shall we say, disgruntled…!). I am getting specifically curious about how I’m approaching this scenario, because it’s starting to get down right OLD.
The normal human groaning is “why”? Why is it this way? Why is this happening to me again?
This is a very normal and also helpful question to ask, especially in the beginning to process the situation. But staying in the “why?” space can become bitter stagnation if we are not careful. The same word that can help you explore the situation and get out of this rut is also the same that will stymie self-development.
So we can take “why” two different ways. To take it externally is usually the first course of action. Why are they treating me this way? Why does that person do that infuriating thing? Why does this circumstance keep happening?
Then it may go internally: why do I always think that? why do I keep struggling with this? why can’t I get a grip?, etc. It can go from constructive to destructive, or self-loathing, pretty quickly.
Let’s cool things down and turn on the curiosity.
Curiosity is a powerful stance of the mind because it neutralizes an emotionally charged situation and defuses it so we can look at the situation with healthy detachment instead of in a defensive place or from a place of self-loathing.
So, as we take out the magnifying glass and the spotlight, let’s look for patterns of behavior. We always have the power to change how we act. We also train others to treat us a certain way. We may find that we ourselves have been contributing to the dreaded, “repeating” scenarios in our life.
This is in fact extremely hopeful. We have the ability to change our behavior, which in turn naturally changes the circumstance we are in because we are a player in that circumstance. Something changes? It will alter the outcome. It has to. And one final reminder…
In all of this remember self-care.
Realize how important it is to take the time to tend to yourself right where you are at. It is always crucial to treat ourselves with care and doing so comes with an added bonus of treating others with greater kindness. You may find those disgruntling situations and / or people in your life respond positively.
May you enjoy a deliciously gruntled week. See you next Tuesday.